Tuesday, July 7, 2009

A Message From Bob Burden

The one and only Bob Burden sent the following message to our office today..

Secret Transmission # 386
At five minutes and six seconds after 4 AM on the 8th of July this year,
the time and date will be -- 04:05:06 07/08/09.
This will not happen again for a thousand years.
If we miss it we will have to wait.
If we wait we will be disappointed.
If we are disappointed we shall be, in a way,
now free from that which disappointed us.

Posted by Hugo Saltine.
This transmission has been approved for all frequencies.

Wednesday, July 1, 2009


this from wikipedia..

"Riboflavin (E101), also known as vitamin B2, is an easily absorbed micronutrient with a key role in maintaining health in humans and animals. It is the central component of the cofactors FAD and FMN, and is therefore required by all flavoproteins. As such, vitamin B2 is required for a wide variety of cellular processes. Like the other B vitamins, it plays a key role in energy metabolism, and is required for the metabolism of fats, ketone bodies, carbohydrates, and proteins.

Milk, cheese, leafy green vegetables, liver, kidneys, legumes such as mature soybeans,[1] yeast, mushrooms and almonds[citation needed] are good sources of vitamin B2, but exposure to light destroys riboflavin.
The name "riboflavin" comes from "ribose" and "flavin".

Vitamin B was originally considered to have two components, a heat-labile vitamin B1 and a heat-stable vitamin B2 (1). In the 1920s, vitamin B2 was thought to be the factor necessary for preventing pellagra. In 1923, Paul Gyorgi in Heidelberg was investigating egg white injury in rats, the curative factor for this condition was called vitamin H. Since both pellagra and vitamin H deficiency were associated with dermatitis, Gyorgi decided to test the effect of vitamin B2 on vitamin H deficiency in rat. He enlisted the service of Wagner-Jauregg in Kuhan’s laboratory (1). In 1933, Kuhn, Gyorgy, and Wagner found that thiamin-free extracts of yeast, liver, or rice bran prevented the growth failure of rats fed a thiamin supplemented diet. Further, they noted that a yellow-green fluorescence in each extract promoted rat growth, and that the intensity of fluorescence was proportional to the effect on growth. This observation enabled them to develop a rapid chemical and bioassay to isolate the factor from egg white in 1933, they called it Ovoflavin. The same group then isolated the same preparation (a growth-promoting compound with yellow-green fluorescence) from whey using the same procedure (lactoflavin). In 1934 Kuhan’s group identified the structure of so-called flavin and synthesised vitamin B2 (1)."

Lightbulb Detective Agency would also like to add that Riboflavin' might be a snappy name for a song.

Tuesday, June 30, 2009

the tuesday question? 6-30-09

Who would win in a fist fight between Gary Busey and Nick Nolte?

I'm just askin'....

Friday, June 26, 2009

in memory

Lightbulb Detective Agency encourages everyone to wear a sequined glove to work on Monday in honor of a fallen legend. LDA agent Amjad used to wear one to school when he was younger and encourages all to observe this tragically antiquated fashion statement.

Du8 would like to add that while he is fully capable of performing the moonwalk, he is reluctant to do so in public. With great power comes great responsibility.

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

the tuesday question? 6-23-09

Where is the secret headquarters of the villainous Serpent-Men located?

you know the rules...

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

the tuesday question..06-16-09

How many hammers should be in a bag of hammers?

as always, show your work and feel free to make stuff up...it's fun.

Friday, May 15, 2009

Love for Lovecraft...

As you could probably guess, we here at Lightbulb Detective Agency have a great love for all things related to H.P. Lovecraft. There are some who feel that somehow Lovecraft subconsciously tapped into unknown horrible cosmic truths and that his work is actually more fact than fiction. There are some who feel Lovecraft was just some weird guy that wrote pretty cool stories. Who knows? We do know that his work has inspired many people in many ways, including endless spin-off fiction, films, radio dramas, music, artwork and role-playing games. Here are a few groups dedicated to spreading the word.

We have long been aware of the amazing H.P. Lovecraft Historical Society. This group of massively creative individuals has been churning out impressive Lovecraft related materials for years now. They produce films, radio dramas and a host of wonderful props. If you are unaware of them, visit their site and buy their inspiring stuff.

Lurker Films is responsible for the excellent H.P. Lovecraft Collection series of DVD’s. This series features numerous short films inspired by the works of Lovecraft. Lurker Films also organize the great H.P. Lovecraft Film Festival in Portland, Oregon.

The blog unfilmable.com deals mainly with films inspired by Lovecraft. It is updated often and is very informative.

So, please take a moment to check out these sites and blast your mind with eldritch terrors!

Monday, May 11, 2009

a strange mystery...

A few weeks ago the offices of Lightbulb Detective Agency received a strange package. Inside the package was wine bottle, sealed in wax containing a single sheet of parchment. using a super sneaky trick a "Tilt-a-whirl" operator showed us, we were able to extract the parchment with out breaking the wax seal.

Using big fancy machines with blinking lights and spinning parts, we were able to determine that the parchment and the ink used to inscribe the message on the parchment were AT LEAST 150 years old.

The message was an unrecognisable string of letters and numbers, all written backwards. When we held up the parchment to a mirror we discovered the text below..


We were quite surprised to find that the text translated directly to a working URL...do yourself a favor and check out the link....

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

the tuesday question 05-05-09


Who is the fastest badger alive?

feel free to make stuff up....

The Hunt for Gollum

It's always really inspiring when people put forth an extreme effort, just for the sheer joy of being creative.

The folks who made The Hunt for Gollum have not been compensated in any way to make this film, but we here at Lightbulb Detective Agency feel they should be rewarded for their efforts.

Hopefully something really great will come out of it for them...

....we salute you.


Monday, May 4, 2009


Things may appear to have been a bit quiet recently in the offices of Lightbulb Detective Agency…. But in fact we have been hurriedly preparing for a live musical performance!

That’s right! If you are lucky enough to be in the Northwest Arkansas area the night of May 22nd you can witness the loud and confusing spectacle of a Lightbulb Detective Agency show! We promise you will end up scratching your head and asking yourself questions like: “what the hell just happened?” “Am I even allowed to like this?””Can I get the last half hour back please?”

The following brave and tolerant music groups will also be playing!

The Counterlife!

Real Live Tigers!

Any group bold enough to be on the same bill as Lightbulb Detective Agency has a soul of Iron and a will of steel!

We have also been feverishly preparing all kinds of merchandise for you to look at and not buy!

By now you must be asking yourself “when and where will this madness take place?... so I can avoid it..”


May 22nd 9:00 PM at THE NEW DELI prospect and gregg, FAYETTEVILLE, Arkansas 72701

If you are foolish enough to show up, for goodness sake take a fistful of vitamins and drink some coffee first!

Thursday, April 30, 2009

A Useful Potato on CDBABY.COM!!!

That’s right….

The Earth can sleep easy tonight…

A Useful Potato is available for purchase here!

Go on, get it!

Wednesday, March 4, 2009

The Wensday Question? 03-04-09


Wait a minute...isn't it supposed to be the TUESDAY question?

Why the heck was there no "Tuesday Question" Yesterday?

Answers Below please...

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

the tuesday question? 2-24-09

another question.

How many bags of bone meal can you smuggle into Mexico using only a Model –T and three covered wagons?

as always, leave your answers below...and show your work.

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

The Final 24 Hours of Dr. Leon Brophy

Illustration by Amjad Faur

Since the release of the Lightbulb Detective Agency CD A Useful Potato, We have received HUNDREDS of e-mails with questions about the song, the Final 24 Hours of Dr. Leon Brophy. Questions like “who is this Dr. Leon Brophy? What happened in his final 24 hours? Why the heck is this song 27 minutes long?” The “official” history of the song is available elsewhere on this blog as well as in the liner notes of the CD, but we have to be honest with you, that’s not the real story.

In the summer of 2001, Dr.Leon Brophy vanished. As one of the leading researches in the field of time travel, Dr. Brophy needs little introduction to those who research time travel. Everyone else however, will have no idea who this guy is. Dr. Brophy is considered a loose cannon by the few that know him. Many regard his methods as too unorthodox, and most consider it complete hogwash. His extremely reclusive nature is infamous, or at least it would be if anyone had ever heard of him.

Leon went to great lengths to insure that his research was kept as secret as possible. It is rumored that his entire support staff was made up of trained orangutans’ that only responded to commands in a language of Brophy’s invention. Because of his secrecy and the fact that all of his records seem to have vanished with him, we do not know the exact nature of Dr. Brophys work. We do however know that it in some way relates to memory.

Unlike “traditional” methods of time travel (such as mechanical or through powerful sorcery) Dr. Brophy felt it was possible to pull oneself out of time using nothing other than your own mind. It is unclear exactly how this works but, it apparently involves deep concentration on an event of the past or a somehow acquired “memory” of the future. No Proof exists that he ever perfected this method.

Only one piece of unexplained physical evidence was found in Dr. Brophys laboratory, where it is known he spent the days leading up to his disappearance. It seems that Leon had hooked himself up to a Brainwave scan device for a period of 24 hours. The lengthy print out hard copy of this scan was found spooled onto the floor and still attached to the machine. On a hunch Investigators fed this information into a powerful “ULTRA –BRAIN” computer. It was then discovered that the scan translated into a 27-minute audio waveform.

This waveform is of course, the song The Final 24 Hours of Dr. Leon Brophy as it appears on the A Useful Potato CD. When the CD was released, we at Lightbulb Detective Agency felt that general public wouldn’t accept the bizarre origins of this recording. So, a story about creating the song in a 24 hour time span was fabricated and released as the “official” story. However, we feel that you dear reader deserve to know the truth.

Even though the disappearance of Dr. Leon Brophy remains unexplained, we at Lightbulb Detective Agency vow to not let the mystery fade. We will continue to investigate this and keep you informed as details emerge.

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

the tuesday question? 02-17-09

...and so we pose the question...

How long will it take a man disguised as Abe Lincoln to prepare enough Fajitas to feed a 100 person junior high marching band in the summer?

please leave your answers in the comments ......and please explain your answer....

good luck...

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

STORM THE CASTLE! on Aquarius Records!

Holy Macaroni!

Aquarius Records has been kind enough to sell the STC! CD The History of Doomed Expeditions Vol.1 on their website!

They even gave it a great review!

Check it out Here!



Monday, February 2, 2009

Groundhog's day?

Just in case you live in a cave and eat albino fish for dinner, Groundhog’s day is that weird holiday in February with the groundhog and his shadow supposedly predicting the weather. As a child, Groundhog’s day is just some lame holiday you don’t get presents or a day off from school for. As you grow older groundhog’s day is pretty much the same except you are able to talk about the weather for an extra 20 seconds. Talking about the weather seems to become more important as you grow older. Even though Groundhog’s day, the Bill Murry film is universally recognized as the ultimate date movie, Groundhog’s day is a tame and largely insignificant holiday that most people never, ever think twice about.

But was it always this way?

If you look up the origin of Groundhogs day on Wikipedia, it will probably give you some completely plausible and sensible explanation that any person in their right mind will be satisfied with. But we here at Lightbulb Detective Agency say “HOGWASH! …UTTER HOGWASH!” Read on brave reader…if the taste of truth does not burn your tongue!

In the 14th century, one hundred years before the Sawney Beane Family’s reign of terror, a plague of bizarre mayhem gripped the western coast of Scotland. According to Wilber Hamsandwichson in his controversial book The Secret History of Scotland, “Graunhaugg’s Day” was not just a silly holiday; it was a day of terror. Hamsandwichson has uncovered a long hidden manuscript that reveals the story of the “Graunhaugg”, a monstrous beast that menaced small Scottish villages every February for at least 15 years.

According to the manuscript, the monster was described as being “shaped like a man but as tall as two and a half men and covered in unbreakable green scales”. Allegedly possessing unbelievable strength and speed, the beast would tear through homes, villagers and anything foolish enough to be in its way with razor sharp, sword length claws. Strangely the “Graunhaugg” was said to have no face but one gigantic blood shot eye covering most of its head. The beast was also accompanied by the inexplicable and intense smell of burning wood.

Very little else is known about the “Graunhaugg”, other than it would suddenly appear every early February and begin its seemingly random attacks on the villages. Mostly damaging the villager’s homes, the beast appeared to have no obvious motive. It would not steal anything, and it never ate any of its victims or took any hostages. In fact the only people who were killed by the monster were those who attempted to attack it. The would be attackers were reportedly dispatched with blinding speed and brutality. One example tells of the beast reducing a group of 12 warriors to bloody sludge in a matter of seconds. Hamsandwichson theorizes the “Graunhaugg” was searching for something in those villages but what that could possibly be is anyone’s guess. Then after several hours of savage destruction the “Graunhaugg” would vanish as suddenly as it had appeared. No sign of the beast was seen again until its dreaded arrival the next year.

It is estimated that these fearful February attacks lasted for slightly less than two decades. Then for no apparent reason the beast vanished for good. Did the creature die? Did it find what was looking for? What was it looking for anyway? Why was the history of the beast hidden for so long? Why did the Villagers name the beast the “Graunhaugg”? What the heck kind of monster has a giant eyeball for a head? When did “Graunhaugg’s day” become “Groundhog’s day”? And more importantly, why did a yearly time of menacing mayhem become a quaint holiday about the weather? Wilbur Hamsandwichson Claimed he would answer all of these questions in his unfinished book The Secret History of Groundhog’s day but he vanished along with all of his notes early last February. His last known location was the western coast of Scotland.